we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
