I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We're too hungover to prance.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
