So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
