I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
