good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
