Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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