She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
