sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
