You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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