We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
