I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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