i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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