is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
