In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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