I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When are your genitals available?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
