Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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