Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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