Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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