i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was born a porn star she said
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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