From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
