Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
