Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We had to coat check the pizza.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
