its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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