My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
