dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
