Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
