Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
