I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
