FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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