I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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