Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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