Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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