went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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