Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
