it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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