I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
