dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
