ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
oh god the rape fog is back!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
