He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
