What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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