They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
