next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
