Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
