people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
