What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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