sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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