how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
