yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
