Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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