The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
