She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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