literally had 100 drinks last night.
so that wasnt chicken after all
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
